waiting.....

last tuesday i resigned from my office. i didn't know exactly what i felt back then, i didn't feel sad nor happy, just plain i guess.
a lot of things will be waiting for me in next coming weeks. my new job on february 21, my wedding the next 2 weeks, my sister will come on february 19 and a lot of preparation to do before my wedding party.
i just hope everything will be ok, i always pray for that.
i plan to go to yogya this saturday and i will back on monday night. just try to change the atmosfer and take a little vacation before my hectic life comes ahead.
i thought i have a lot of things to say but suddenly i lost my mood :(
11.25 pm now, time to go sleep, good nite, have a nice dream

Friends

i was reading one of my friend friendster and then i found out that she has so many friends and some of them are her best friends.
do i have many friends? yes i do have many friends
but how many best friends do you have? well i can't answer to that question
during my elementary school i have 2 best friends, mala and fira, but unfortunetly i don't know where they are now. we just lost contact, i try to find them on the internet but they seem not connected to the cyber world.
in senior high school, i used to think that i have best friends, but i don't know what they think about me. they like to do something and not involve me in.
in college all my friends who are i consider my best friends, never reply my mail or my sms.
in office, i do have some best friends, but sometimes i feel that we are best friends when we're in the office, on weekend or vacation, we hardly contact each other, may be because we just busy with our personal life.
well maybe the problem just me, or them? i don't know
some of my old friends still have contact with me, email or sms but i think they just friends, not best friends.
my boyfriend, who is going to be my husband in the next 2 month is my best friends, and also my sister.
maybe i just haven't meet my truly friends, but the clock still ticking so why worry.
the time will justify everything, and sometimes all you can do is just wait and see.

What Is Your True Hidden Power?

Your Hidden Power Is:
Earthly

You are sort of childish yet brave. If you get
pissed off you become a very strong fighter.
You hate seeing the earth die and you use your
special powers to save the earth from becoming
hell. You are loved by many and hated by few
but you only despise those that try and destroy
your wonderful earth.

Gem Stone:Emerald Eye Color:Lime
Green Hair Color:Brown with green on the
bottom tips and it is shoulder length flipped
out.

Quote:I tear my heart open. I sew my
self shut. My weakness is that i care to much.
And our scars remind us that the past is real.
I tear my heart open just to feel.


What Is Your True Hidden Power? .::Beautiful Anime Pics::.
brought to you by Quizilla

Smile

Smile, though your heart is aching
Smile, even though it's breaking
When there are clouds in the sky
You'll get by...

If you smile
With your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll see the sun come shining through
For you...

Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear may be ever so near
That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile

That's the time
You must keep on trying
Smile,
What's the use of crying?
You'll find that life
Is still worth-while
If you just smile

Where Does Your Beauty Lie?

See the Image

Your Beauty lies
in Plain Sight. Plain, simple and the girl next
door. People tend overlook you as you are the
"normal girl", but you're actually
very beautiful. And you have plenty about you to
set you apart, but more that
lets you blend. People love the stability you have
because as others may come
and go, you will always be there and you may always
be the same. You like simple
things and that's what people like about you. You
most likely enjoy things most
consider normal, like movies, shopping, that sort
of thing and are very friendly
and probably have many friends. You are sweet and
kind and that shows on you,
but you're also strong and not very naive. You're a
rather well-rounded
individual. Even though some people pass you off as
just another girl, shrug it
off because they don't know what they're
missing.

Some Things
That Represent You:

Element:
Earth, Light Animal: Cat Color:
Pinks, Blues, Browns Song:
Girl Next Door by Pilot Expression: Simple
Smile

Gemstone:
Alexandrite Mythological Creature: Fox
Demon, Hobbit Planet: Jupiter Hair
Color: Light Brown Eye Color:
Brown

Quote:
"To the world you may be one person, but to
one person you may be the world."

Where Does Your Beauty Lie? ..::Original Pictures Are Back! Detailed Results::..
brought to you by Quizilla

What is your element?

Earth. You're a typical case of 'the more, the
better'. Collecting is your strong point, but
listening too. You will not easily show
emotions, but will try to help, as long as you
get something back for it in the future, but
either it be friendship or a gift, that doesn't
matter to you.


What is your element?
brought to you by Quizilla

Who's Perfect For You???

You want a sweet guy. Who'ld take you anywhere.
Like Japan!!! Wow I would like a guy like that
too:) Also he looks so cute in japanese
clothing:)


Who's Perfect For You??? (Cute Anime Pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

What kind of girl are you?

You're like me! The intelligent loner. You're shy
at times but friendly, and you are never weak
and always independent. You are incredibly
intelligent (wise beyond your years) and have a
talent for many things (sports, music, art).
You have a kind and warm personality and enjoy
the simple things. Like hanging out with
friends and watching movies at home. But you're
sometimes quiet nature makes you a bit of an
outcast and a mystery to people. No matter how
pretty you are or smart or athletic, you just
can't seem to break into the crowd and be
noticed. Don't worry, try to be more outgoing
and speak out when you have more to say. Don't
hide behind your books and sports and computer,
get out there and get noticed. You also have
deep desires in life and feel vunerable and
alone at times. Don't feel sad either, What
helps me to express feelings and dreams that I
can't say to people, is through my writting.
Maybe you should try.

What kind of girl are you? (with pix!)
brought to you by

06/12/2004

yesterday i was watching calling tru, a tv series at transtv. the episode was about tru having a high school reunion. in high school, tru have had a bestfriend, candace, but somehow she became evil, and they're no longer being friends. tru have to save candace because someone tried to kill her. at the end tru did save her and ask her to become friends again, but candace said there are things that can't be change, and it means that they can be friends again.

and the epilogue showed that one of their conversation in gym when they was in high school, tru said we will always be friend until we become old, aren't we? candace said of course, that what best friend are for. but what happened is compeletly different, now they even not speak to each other.tru's experience is just like mine. and i think i feel the way tru feels.

if we were friends back then why can't we now? we used to hang out together, talked on the phone for hours, laughing together. we even promise to grow old together. but now somehow my friend just dissapear as if she never exist in this world. i know is hurt tru very deeply when candace said that she doesn't want to be friend again with her, and i know i will feel the same with tru that why i never ask my friend the same question cause i know her too well that she will answer the same question with the same answer just like candace.

the good thing is i am plays as the good person, not the evil one. i happy with my life now, with the friends that i have now. what happened to me back then teach me that we deal with many different kind of people, is up to me how to handle them. we do make mistakes, is human, just don't do the same mistakes twice cause is stupid.

Welcome To My Life

Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you

Do you ever wanna runaway?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more?
Before your life is over

Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurtTo feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

No one ever lied straight to your face
No one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
Never had to work it was always there
You don't know what it's like, what it's like

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like (what it's like)

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life

She

For: She
She May be the face I can't forget
A trace of pleasure or regret
May be my treasure or the price I have to pay
She may be the song that summer sings
May be the chill that autumn brings
May be a hundred different things
Within the measure of a day.

She May be the beauty or the beast
May be the famine or the feast
May turn each day into a heaven or a hell
She may be the mirror of my dreams
A smile reflected in a stream
She may not be what she may seem
Inside her shell

She who always seems so happy in a crowd
Whose eyes can be so private and so proud
No one's allowed to see them when they cry
She may be the love that cannot hope to last
May come to me from shadows of the past
That I'll remember till the day I die

She May be the reason I survive
The why and wherefore I'm alive
The one I'll care for through the rough and ready years
Me I'll take her laughter and her tears
And make them all my souvenirs
For where she goes I've got to be
The meaning of my life is

She, she, she

She by Elvis Costello

always admire someone who can write a song so beautiful
deep inside i wish God give me that kind of gift
but still i feel gifted for what i am now

September

To live means to struggle

Summer Snow

Summer Snow a.k.a Seven Angels
Summer Snow

It's summer snow in the deep blue sea
I try to touch, but it fades away
It must be a dream I will never get
Just like my love that's crying for you

If there were something not to change forever
We could feel it deep in our heart
Today is over with a million tears
Still everyone has a wish to live

Oh, I do believe everlasting love
And destiny to meet you again
I feel a pain I can hardly stand
All I can do is loving you

It's summer snow in the deep blue sea
I try to touch, but it fades away
It must be a dream I will never get
Just like my love that's crying for you

***

Seven Angels

Seven angels hide and seek games
April rain and clear blue sky
Humming birds are singing love songs
Seasons greetings from dear friends

No one knows my secret garden
A forgotten yellow diary
Summer breeze bring dandelions
Starlight in a holy night

Oh my love
I shall seek for what makes me happy
I love you
And you always bring me a precious time

One way ticket to a town south
Sunset scene from a little hill
Broken shells and tears of mermaid
An adventure in my mind

The princess in a timeless story
Endless sounds flow from little streams
Your sweet voice and eyes forever
Our promise yesterday

Oh my love
I shall seek for what makes me happy
I love you
And you always bring me a precious time

Oh my love
I shall seek for what makes me happy
I love you
And you always bring me a precious time

Oh my love
I shall seek for what makes me happy
I love you
And you always bring me a precious time

I love you more because
You bring sweet precious times

***

Cukup Berbuat Begini Saja

Ada seseorang saat melamar kerja, memungut sampah kertas di lantai ke
dalam tong sampah, dan hal itu terlihat oleh peng-interview, dan dia
mendapatkan pekerjaan tersebut. Ternyata untuk memperoleh penghargaan sangatlah gampang, cukup memelihara kebiasaan yang baik.

Ada seorang adik kecil menjadi murid di toko sepeda, suatu saat ada
seseorang yang mengantarkan sepeda rusak untuk diperbaiki di toko
tsb. Selain memperbaiki sepeda tsb, si adik kecil juga membersihkan sepeda hingga bersih mengkilap, murid-murid lain menertawakan perbuatannya. Keesokan hari setelah sang empunya sepeda mengambil sepedanya, si adik kecil ditarik utk bekerja di tempatnya. Ternyata untuk menjadi orang yang berhasil sangat mudah, cukup rugi sedikit saja.

Seorang anak berkata kepada ibu! ny! a: "Ibu hari ini sangat cantik", ibu menjawab: "mengapa?" anak jawab: "karena hari ini ibu sama sekali tidak marah marah". Ternyata untuk memiliki kecantikan sangatlah mudah, hanya perlu tidak marah-marah.

Seorang petani menyuruh anaknya setiap hari bekerja giat di sawah,
temannya berkata:"tidak perlu menyuruh anakmu bekerja keras,
tanamanmu tetap akan tumbuh dengan subur". Petani mejawab: "aku bukan sedang memupuk tanamanku, tapi aku sedang membina anakku". Ternyata membina seorang anak sangat mudah, cukup membiarkan dia rajin bekerja.

Ada sebuah toko yang lampunya selalu terang-benderang, ada yang
bertanya: "lampu merek apa yang dipakai sehingga begitu awet?":
Pemilik toko berkata: "Lampu kami juga sering rusak, dan begitu rusak langsung diganti" Ternyata cara memelihara tetap terang sangat mudah, cukup sering diganti saja.

Katak yang ! tinggal di sawah berkata kepada katak yang tinggal
dipinggir jalan: "tempatmu terlalu berbahaya, tinggallah denganku". Katak "pinggir jalan" menjawab: "aku sudah terbiasa, malas untuk pindah".
Beberapa hari kemudian katak "sawah" menjenguk katak "pinggir jalan"
dan menemukan bahwa si katak sudah mati dilindas mobil yang lewat.
Ternyata sangat mudah menggenggam nasib kita sendiri, cukup hindari
kemalasan saja.

Ada segerombolan orang yang berjalan di padang pasir, semua berjalan
dengan berat, sangat menderita, hanya satu orang yang berjalan dengan
gembira. Ada yang bertanya: "mengapa engkau begitu santai?" dia jawab sambil tertawa: "karena barang bawaan saya sedikit". Ternyata sangat mudah untuk memperoleh kegembiraan, cukup tidak serakah atau memiliki sedikit saja

Yang Seharusnya

Such a lovely face
With a warm and tender smile
Though I want you so
Found in deep inside keep saying
Don't trust your heart this time
Could my mind be playing games
Am I so betrayed that my heart and mind
Can never be the same 
*Born to love*
 
Wah, sudah jam 5 buru-buru kukemasi barang-barangku. It’s time to go home. Setelah absen pulang, segera aku menuju tempat menunggu taksi. Puihh, kutarik nafas lega melihat antrian yang hanya 2 orang, berarti aku tak harus menunggu lama. Sekarang giliranku, untung dapet taksi biru, ujarku dalam hati. “Stasiun pak” kataku kepada sopir taksi setelah ia menyapaku dengan ramah. 
 
Tak sampai 15 menit taksiku pun tiba di stasiun yang telah tampak ramai dengan orang lalu lalang.  Setelah mendapatkan karcis, mataku pun menyapu orang-orang yang menunggu di peron.  Hmmm dimana ya gadis itu, mataku pun terus mencari, jangan-jangan dia belum datang.  Aku suka memperhatikannya, gadis mungil yang manis, hampir setiap hari menggunakan jasa kereta ekspress yang sama dengan diriku.  Ia selalu menunggu sendirian, kadang sibuk membaca buku, kadang ngobrol bersama temannya walaupun itu sangat jarang, ataupun hanya temangu-mangu memperhatikan orang yang lalu lalang dihadapannya.  Hampir selalu aku memperhatikannya jika ia berdiri didekatku tapi entah mengapa ia tak pernah menyadari atau pura-pura tak menyadari. 
 
Jangan-jangan ia sudah punya pacar, masa gadis secantik itu tak punya pacar, tak mungkin.  Tapi mengapa pacarnya tak pernah mengantarnya pulang? Mungkin pacarnya tinggal lain kota atau bahkan mungkin lain benua.  Jangan-jangan gadis itu sudah tunangan atau bahkan menikah, tapi gadis itu masih terlihat muda, bukankan tak ada larangan untuk menikah muda? Kurasa dia belum menikah karena aku tak pernah melihat satupun cincin melingkar di salah satu jarinya.  Ah itu dia, aku melihatnya berjalan perlahan dan kemudian berhenti didekatku, bersandar pada tiang dan mulai membaca buku yang dibawanya.  Wajahnya terlihat serius ketika membaca, membuatku bertambah mengagumi dirinya. 
 
Terdengar suara keras memberitahukan bahwa kereta kami akan tiba.  Setelah berdesak-desakan untuk masuk ke dalam kereta, mataku pun segera mencari ia, nah itu dia berdiri hampir diujung gerbong dengan perpegangan kepada tiang bangku, kulihat tempat berdiri disebelahnya masih kosong, segera saja aku berdiri disebelahnya.  Sepanjang perjalanan kulihat dirinya sibuk memperhatikan pemandangan dari pintu kaca kereta. 
 
Tak berapa lama kereta pun tiba di stasiun pemberentian pertama, ia segera berjalan menuju pintu dan kemudian berlalu dari dekatku.  Aku masih harus melanjutkan perjalanan sampai pemberentian selanjutnya.  Seandainya saja aku masih single tentu aku akan mengajaknya berkenalan dan mungkin berlanjut dengan mengunjungi rumahnya.  Tapi dengan adanya cincin yang melingkar dijari manisku, aku cukup puas dengan melihatnya hampir setiap  hari di stasiun, pulang bersama dengannya, itupun kalo bisa disebut pulang bersama, dan mereka-reka kisah cintanya. 
 
Akhirnya sampai juga aku dirumah, istriku menyambut kepulanganku dengan senyum yang tulus, dan aku pun tahu bahwa aku tak mungkin tega untuk menyakitinya.

Hai hai

wah ternyata udah lama ya nggak nulis blog, sebulan lho.  Abis suka males sih, kan internet di kantor cuman pagi, istirahat en pas pulang.  Kalo pulang kan gue teng go, pagi2 maen zuma, kaloistirahat suka sibuk jalan2 :D.
 
PENGUMUMAN : KIMI UDAH TAMAT ZUMA LHO :D
 
wow wow wow, diriku ternyata hebat sekali *sampe kagum sendiri lho*
yah begitulah kimimaki masashi ini :p
 
cincin tunangan gue harus dikecilin lagi, kemaren walaupun udah dikecilin ternyata kurang kecil!!!  apakah kimi mengurus? wah nggak tahu juga ya
tapi wedding ring pas kok, bagus lho wedding ring gue, sampe kagum en ingin cepet2 make deh :p
 
bulan depan mau jalan2 ke yogya, bersenang2 bersama teman2
tapi minggu ini ditinggal pacar ke surabaya :( trus dijanjiin palsu jalan2 3 minggu!!!!!!
ngambek ngambek ngambek, pokoknya harus minta ganti rugi berlipat2
yah begitulah suka duka mempunyai pacar :)
 
 

Latihan Evakuasi

Bete bete bete bete
kemaren ada latihan evakuasi, artinya turun tangga sodara2
en berhubung kantor gue di lantai 23 jadilah tutun 23 lantai
pegel bin betis sakit2 nih masih kerasa sampe skr
bete deh bete
menurut gosip tahun depan kantor gue mau pindah gedung
kalo gue masih kerja disini gue mau nyaranin jgn sewa yg tinggi2 dong
kalo ada gempa, kebakaran, ancaman bom, latihan evakuasi or sejenisnya kan turun tangganya capek :(

Wedding Ring

Gue udah beli wedding ring lho :D
padahal meritnya masih tahun depan, tapi katanya pacarku nggak pa2 lagian mumpung ada promosi, buy one get one free, yg free cincin cowoknya karna nggak ada matanya.
Cincin gue mata berliannya ada 15 tapi kecil2 :D nanti gue posting gambarnya ya, skr pagi2 nggak keburu :p

O iya kata pacar gue dibeli skr juga menunjukkan keseriusan dia sama gue, wuih wuih wuih wuih mudah2an dia cinta en sayang sama gue selamanya, Amin...........

Baju putih

kemaren2 beli baju putih accent 2 karna lagi sale, walaupun ada yg jatuhnya ttp mahal.
Total beli 4 baju, 3 accent 1 mint, 3 lengan panjang 1 lengan pendek, 2 putih, 1 krem en
1 lagi merah. Happy karna lagi sale jadi dapet baju banyak dgn harga murah :). Skr kan
lagi jakarta great sale walaupun sebenernya nggak pernah memafaatkan jakarta great sale,
sebenernya penasaran sih apa bener2 sale? apa harganya dinaekin dulu?

Speaking of baju putih, gue merasa nggak cocok make baju putih karna naek bis. Tahu dong
bis di indo kyk apa, en it's happen, baju putih yg gue pake hari ini terkena setitik
noda hitam yg gue rasa pasti gara2 naek bis 66 :(. Walaupun setitik, namanya noda hitam
di baju putih pasti keliatan dong, yah nasib deh, belum ke kantor naek mobil pribadi or
ada yg bersedia antar jemput gue naek mobil? :D

Old Times

Iseng2 nyari mp3 di folder temen2, bosen sama koleksi sendiri. Trus nemu beberapa lagu
lama, jadi serasa nostalgia berasa tua :D :D :D. I like the old days cause everthing
seems more simple than now, not days at college, i prefer when i was at junior and
senior high, less things to think and worry about :)
kalo pas kuliah gue demen banget nonton dawson's creek :) trus sempet demen juga nonton
meteor garden walaupun skr kalo liat F4 jijay bajaj :D. Sebenernya skr demen nonton
alias tapi malem banget sih jam 11 malem, Ally mcbeal juga masih suka, i prefer ally
mcbeal than friends :) but then again malem2 semua sih kalo nonton besok pagi kesiangan
telat ngantor deh. Eh meteor garden di puter lagi lho di tv, lupa tv mana yg jelas sore2
gitu.

Dari dawson's creek gue paling demen lagunya Paula Cole I don't want to wait, gue juga
suka britney spears lho, nyanyinya bukan gayanya or bajunya dia yg makin lama makin
seksi en sebenernya kurang cocok sama dia. Yang lucu ttg britney, ukuran dada britney
suka beda2 lho, coba search di google with keywords beritney spears nanti ada the secret
about britney boops kalo nggak salah, en emang keliatan kalo kadang2 dadanya besar laen
waktu kecil, lucu banget :D, walaupun sebenernya gue berpikir kok bisa gitu ya ;)